What is Love
Love is a word that is used a lot but what is love? One
definition is a strong emotional feeling and attachment to somebody or
something. This is good as far as it goes but does not cover all the aspects.
There are different kinds of love, they all contain a degree of attachment,
sexual, familial, social and there is love of animals and objects.
Here I want to deal with the intimate relationship between two
people and how to experience it.
Is it Love?
We often hear of
'Love at first sight', some magical moment where two people instantly become
attached. It has never happened to me and I do not really believe in it, if you
found love that way then I am happy for you. I do however know that 'Lust
sight' happens often and can occasionally lead to love.
For me love is
something that grows over time. Someone may be physically attractive to me but
not somebody that I would want to live with. There was a movie that I saw one
time where the father of a young woman asked her potential husband if he
liked her. The young man protested that he loved
her and the father pointed out that it was not enough. The person you love
should also be your best friend, your confidante.
A desire for sex should never be mistaken for love. The sex
drive can get two people together but by itself will not keep them together. You
will sometimes see a man, usually, who has a beautiful female partner that he is
not really interested in as a person. This is not love, it is ownership and an
ego trip. Personally I do not want to own anybody.
So many times two people get together just for the sake of
having a partner, there is no love involved. Whether this is because they feel
more comfortable or if it is the expected thing to do I am not sure. There is no
scarcity of single people in the world and one of them could be right for you. I
do not believe that there is only one person that could be the love of your
life, there are many. However when you have found someone special then you
should make them that one person.
It is strange that most people put more thought into their
careers and education than they put into their love life. Some people plan their
grocery list better, they just take whatever person is available on the shelf.
If you are still single then you should work out what type of
person you want to have as a life partner. What is love for you? Write down all
the qualities that you want them to have. You can put some thought into physical
appearance but not too much. Personality is far more important. I have found
that people become more, or less, physically attractive the more I get to know
them. I do not know if that is just a quirk with me. Physical attractiveness is
nothing compared to personality beauty.
Work out your own life goals and pleasures, these are something
that you can share with the other person to see if you are compatible.
If you are married or already have your partner then you can
still work out goals and plans together to enhance your love. What is love
without dreams to share.
What is love? It is also a desire to share. You want to share
your life with someone. Love grows with the act of sharing. You share your
thoughts and feelings, your dreams. Share in everything.
Love is not sex, that is available in lots of places. It is not
even in making love. It is in the sharing, you share your life with your partner
and part of it will be sharing your body with them, and then it is beautiful.
Love is something that you grow.
There is more about growing love and keeping it alive and
exciting in the page about
Communication in Relationships, also see
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What is Love
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