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What is Love

Love is a word that is used a lot but what is love? One definition is a strong emotional feeling and attachment to somebody or something. This is good as far as it goes but does not cover all the aspects. There are different kinds of love, they all contain a degree of attachment, sexual, familial, social and there is love of animals and objects.

Here I want to deal with the intimate relationship between two people and how to experience it.


Is it Love?

We often hear of 'Love at first sight', some magical moment where two people instantly become attached. It has never happened to me and I do not really believe in it, if you found love that way then I am happy for you. I do however know that 'Lust at first sight' happens often and can occasionally lead to love.

For me love is something that grows over time. Someone may be physically attractive to me but not somebody that I would want to live with. There was a movie that I saw one time where the father of a young woman asked her potential husband if he liked her. The young man protested that he loved her and the father pointed out that it was not enough. The person you love should also be your best friend, your confidante.

A desire for sex should never be mistaken for love. The sex drive can get two people together but by itself will not keep them together. You will sometimes see a man, usually, who has a beautiful female partner that he is not really interested in as a person. This is not love, it is ownership and an ego trip. Personally I do not want to own anybody.


Love Goals

So many times two people get together just for the sake of having a partner, there is no love involved. Whether this is because they feel more comfortable or if it is the expected thing to do I am not sure. There is no scarcity of single people in the world and one of them could be right for you. I do not believe that there is only one person that could be the love of your life, there are many. However when you have found someone special then you should make them that one person.

It is strange that most people put more thought into their careers and education than they put into their love life. Some people plan their grocery list better, they just take whatever person is available on the shelf.

If you are still single then you should work out what type of person you want to have as a life partner. What is love for you? Write down all the qualities that you want them to have. You can put some thought into physical appearance but not too much. Personality is far more important. I have found that people become more, or less, physically attractive the more I get to know them. I do not know if that is just a quirk with me. Physical attractiveness is nothing compared to personality beauty.

Work out your own life goals and pleasures, these are something that you can share with the other person to see if you are compatible.

If you are married or already have your partner then you can still work out goals and plans together to enhance your love. What is love without dreams to share.


Growing Love

What is love? It is also a desire to share. You want to share your life with someone. Love grows with the act of sharing. You share your thoughts and feelings, your dreams. Share in everything.

Love is not sex, that is available in lots of places. It is not even in making love. It is in the sharing, you share your life with your partner and part of it will be sharing your body with them, and then it is beautiful.

Love is something that you grow.

There is more about growing love and keeping it alive and exciting in the page about Communication in Relationships, also see Healthy Relationship and Trust in Relationships.

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