When you are self employed you need a tough
Self control is one of the most important attributes
that you will need to succeed. Successful people control their own lives and to
a large extent the lives of others. In order to do this they practice self
We are so used to being controlled by other people and
circumstances that our own control gets neglected. Growing up we have
parents, teachers and other adults controlling our actions and giving us
direction. Many people carry this into their adult lives, their actions are
governed by employers, spouses, peers, other people and their childhood
There is nothing wrong with allowing other people to
control you, in fact it is necessary in a civilized community. However you must
still be in control of their control, in other words you should never just
blindly accept what they want you to do. There is more on this in
I remember while growing up the only advice about getting ahead was, get an
education, find a job and work hard. This is alright but it is also incomplete.
With this advice most people end up working 40 hours a week for most of their
lives and then retiring, usually with far less than they wanted. I have always
considered this to be a soul destroying way to spend a life.
majority of successful people are self employed, they have their own companies.
Even when they work for other people it is their choice. For example a
successful movie star decides whether they will accept a part in a film or not.
Let us take another look at the advice for getting ahead. Get an education: That
is right, to be successful you will need to learn everything you can about the
field you are getting into. Find a job: Almost right, find something you want to
do and then create the job. Work hard: Definitely right, success takes a lot of
work to achieve, but also work smart. Do not put a lot of effort into actions
that do not move towards your goal.
How to set Goals.
How does self control fit into this? Obviously the working hard part will take
self control. There are times when you have to overcome your own inertia,
procrastination, you have to push yourself to start taking the first few steps.
Sometimes you may want to do something more pleasurable, play some games, lay in
the sun and so on. There is nothing wrong with doing those things after you have
done your work. I usually ask myself if I deserve a break, if I do then I can
lay in the sun with a clear conscience. If you set up your business doing
something you enjoy, and you should, then the work is not so hard.
You will find that most people feel uncomfortable about making a
decision. We have been trained to follow other peoples directions. It even gets
down to simple daily actions. "What do you want for supper?" "I don't know what
do you want for supper?" or "What tie should I wear?". You get the picture.
Most people will not make a decision without getting someone
else's approval. It seems comfortable doing what other people want, that way you
can't be wrong. That assumes that the other people are better at being right
than you are. Again this is a lack of self control.
It is YOUR
life, make your own decisions. It may be difficult at first but try making a few
decisions without someone else's input. Then do it. That's pretty bold.
Living Other People's Lives
I surprised myself a few years
ago. I had the audacity to stop and ask myself "Is this what I want
to do?" This made me review my life. It was a shock to realize that most of the
things that I had done were things that other people had expected me to do, or I
thought they wanted me to do. This is an action you may want to try yourself.
You will probably find, as I did, that you have been following other peoples
ideas without even knowing.
These will be from parents, friends
and even advertising agencies. A common example of this is drinking, it is
accepted that drinking alcohol is the sociable thing to do, it is somehow manly
and so on. I realized that I don't even like alcohol particularly, so now
I may have an occasional glass of wine on a special occasion. I can still be
very sociable without it. I don't need a new high powered car to impress anyone,
I just need to get where I am going.
It seems like a lot of addictions start
as a need to please other people, an attempt to fit in with the crowd. Smoking,
drinking, drugs and so on, if you look back you will probably find that you did
not really enjoy them at all, it was the camaraderie, sense of belonging that
you found pleasant.
I am not trying to judge or knock anybody here, if you want
to do something then do it, just make sure it is what YOU want to do. Self
Unlock the Passion to help find out what it is that you really want.
"You can't please everyone, so
you've got to please yourself." From the song
'Garden party' by Ricky Nelson.
When most people talk about self
control they mean controlling your emotions, and that is important too. You can
learn to control your emotions, it can sometimes be as easy as counting to ten
before you react. I will have more on that in another page.
of this comes down to learning more about yourself, taking control of your life.
When you learn true self control, your life will be much more pleasant because
you will be doing what you want to do and knowing why you are doing it.
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