Your success will depend on other people.
An interpersonal relationship is one where you have interaction
with one or more people. As this covers a very wide area I will narrow it down
to relationships where you are involved with another persons life to some
extent. In this context a business relationship would not necessarily become an
How well you relate to other
people will have an effect on your life and success. Someone who treats other
people poorly will not be successful. I know there are people out there who are
abusive and yet still appear successful. If you have read the page on
meaning of success
you will realize that they are not really successful. They may succeed in one or
two areas but they are not successful in life.
If you have a good
interpersonal relationship with someone they will trust and support you. If it
is a bad relationship they will look for opportunities to pull you down. So why
make life difficult? When you treat your family, friends and acquaintances well,
then you have strong allies.
What happens when something goes
wrong in a persons life, and it happens to all of us. If the person has treated
others well, has a good reputation, then their family, friends and even the
community will rally around to support them. If they have been abusive then the
people around them will spot their weakness and attack. Make allies not enemies.
What goes into creating a good interpersonal relationship. It is not enough to
just be a nice guy. Strong relationships are built on trust, honesty, respect
and communication. I will be dealing with each of these in greater detail on
other pages, for now let us look at building a relationship.
you meet someone new, you really know nothing about them, other than what they
look like, you will tend to judge each other based on that (read
Dress for Success).
You should at least smile at them. Try to suspend your judgment until you know
them better. Expect the best and respect their presence, this will allow for
I remember one time when I was working at a
hotel. It was in the early summer and a 'gang' of bikers came into the hotel
wanting rooms. The front desk clerk came to me and said we have a problem, she
had not even talked to them yet....
I greeted the group in a
friendly fashion and found out that they wanted twelve rooms for two nights. It
turned out that they were all ministers from different churches who shared a
passion for motorbikes, they were touring the area to discuss religion with the
local ministers. Expect the best.
Don't be So Interesting
Now that you have met a person, show some real interest
in them, find out who they are, what they like and so on. If you want someone to
be interested in you then you must be interested in them.
I find it amusing, but
sad, when someone tries to create an impression by being interesting.. Their
conversation runs on the lines of "I am this, I do that, I have this...look at
how great I am." Then they wonder why the other person does not want to talk to
them again! Be interested not interesting, you should be making an interpersonal
relationship not a me only relationship.
It is quite
alright to talk about yourself, when somebody else invites you to. Let them
decide if you are interesting to them. Most people tend to talk to much and
listen too little. If you look at it, even internet sites should be based on
this. With this site for example, I first had to look at the people that I had
met and be interested in what they wanted to know about.
By reading these pages
you have invited me to talk (write), it is for you to decide if it is
interesting to you. Would it really help if I put up big banners saying how
great I am, some site owners seem to think so. I am far more interested
in who you are, what you want to say and what you want. I already know what I
want. Hey contact me, I
would like to get to know you.
So you have met someone and shown
your interest in them, how far will it go? Maybe they will just be an
acquaintance, that's fine it is nice to have someone who will share a smile, or
it may end up as a long term interpersonal relationship. Either way it is well
worth the time it takes to build it. Read
What is Love,
Communication in Relationships,
Relationship to keep it alive and
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